Where there is life, there is HOPE.

LOSS.

When I think of the past year, of the pandemic, of Covid, this is the word that most comes to mind. Loss of stability, loss of routine, freedom, reasonable certainty. Loss of social contact, affection, celebrations, and the warmth of human touch. Not to mention loss of jobs, homes, financial stability, health, and even the heartbreaking loss of life.

I don't know a single person whose life hasn't been affected in one way or another, in varying degrees. At the very least, I think its safe to say that we've all shared in the experience of feeling isolated and uncertain, as well as anxious and more than likely overwhelmed with a roller coaster of mixed emotions.

Planning, list-making, and having a direction is in my nature, so I've created a list of the tried-and-true that can ease our way a bit as we continue to navigate this incredibly trying time.

First of all, how we deal with life's challenges is a matter of many things, not the least of which is perspective. Last spring when the world shut down, as I faced the challenges of one of my sons and I recovering from Covid, and continued lockdown with my family, as the world stayed braced for the unknown, I continually thought back to one of my favorite novels. COMING HOME, Rosamunde Pilcher's novel of family, heart connections, loss, and love, set to the backdrop of WWII England, takes us on a journey as the main characters face the excruciating hardships, battles, heartbreak, and loss that was so common during that period in history.

Trying to keep my life in some sort of perspective, I kept thinking back to that novel and what it was like for all those who suffered true loss through WWII, through all wars, in fact, and I began to compare my life to those who have suffered and are suffering even more than I. Perspective and gratitude got me through the darkest of those days and continue to shine the light for me through my continued recovery from Covid, as we all continue to deal with the uncertainty of our new normal.

That does NOT mean, however, that we don't acknowledge what we're going through. Things that go bump in the night are scarier and seem to grow bigger in the dark. No sweeping under the rug here. Call it what it is, for sure. But once we've named our demons and shone the light on them, perspective and gratitude for the good in our lives can go a long way toward taking the charge out of challenges. "Yes, I caught Covid. Yes, I've never in my life had such a difficult physical recovery. Yes, our lives are completely up in the air. BUT I'm not in a POW camp in WWII. I'm alive. I'm recovering. My family is with me. And every day that I wake up is one more day I get to share my love with my precious sons, puppies, friends, and family." Honest perspective and gratitude can go a long way in reframing life's trials.

Sometimes a positive change in perspective and thankfulness are enough. And sometimes they're just not. During life's tougher periods, absolutely do not forget that you have an enormous amount of strength inside of you...whether you know it or not.

I will never forget one time when I was in junior high, sitting on my flower quilted bed, in my happy, yellow room, crying buckets of tears over some adorable guy that I couldn't imagine getting over. I don't remember the details, but it was junior high love and angst and heartbreak...you get the picture. My mom, in her soft, sweet way, while comforting me, said something that has always stayed with me. "You have so much strength inside of you. It's always there, but sometimes, during the more difficult times in our lives, you've got to really reach down in there and find it; reach deep, down in there and grab onto it."

I'll say the same to you now. You DO have the strength inside of you to meet life's hardships. Yes, sometimes you have to really reach inside, into your very core to access it, but it is there, to serve you, as you climb your mountains and fight your battles. You're stronger than you might know. Always, always remember that.

When it comes to managing the vicissitudes of life, I would be remiss not to mention self-care. It's really amazing how matters of self-care have come into the limelight and are quite en vogue - one of the silver linings of the pandemic. Self-care can range from eating chocolate in a bubble bath to getting out of a harmful relationship, and everything in between. So, yes, to meditation, deep and mindful breathing, nature, exercise, healthy eating, carving out alone time, setting healthy boundaries, asking for what we need, and on and on. It is not only okay but vital that we care for ourselves - in every way.

As important as self-care is, you know the expression "no man is an island" (ladies included). One aspect of our lives that is imperative to our health is human connection - heart connections, friendship, support, encouragement, shared emotional experiences, affection, love. Yet, physical and emotional isolation, loneliness, and struggling in a lone state have become the norm. Pre-pandemic, so much of our social connection occurred without thought or effort - at school, the office, the store, restaurants, parties, the coffee shop, the gym, PTA meetings, the grocery store parking lot...the list goes on. I would venture to say that, aside from those who have lost jobs, resources, and loved ones, the loss of social interaction and human connection has been one of the most painful aspects of our world's situation.

Thankfully, we live during a time that connection is ridiculously easy - hats off to technology. So, let's use that to our advantage and stay in touch, stay connected, and stay tuned in to each other. This is the perfect time to catch up with old high school and college friends, check on our neighbors, write letters to our grandparents and parents,

call/e-mail/facetime/zoom - reach out and reconnect, because we all deeply need it. Now more than ever.

It has truly been a crazy, and for many, life-altering year. And, although there is possibly a shimmer of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, we are still living in the shadow of the unknown, as we continue facing real issues every day. For many, the end is nowhere in sight, and we find ourselves in need of great healing.

Reframing perspective, gratitude, self-care, human connection, owning our strength, and so much more - all valid, legit, and immensely useful. But, for so many of us, in spite of our heartfelt efforts, we still struggle to quiet our minds, experience restful sleep, ease physical and emotional pain, regain our sense of courage/control/confidence, recover from loss, and find meaning, light, and hope in our lives.

It's during these seasons in time that we can't seem to get it together on our own, when our lives are out of control, out of balance, and we can't manage the pain, the discomfort, the issues, concerns, troubles, anxiety on our own, that it is of the greatest value to reach out to a mental health care professional. To do so shows great strength and self-love, and, thanks to social media and the emerging awareness of the value of mental health care, the stigma of shame and weakness once associated with seeking assistance is slowly beginning to fade a bit. (!)

Through hypnotherapy, EFT, self-hypnosis, guided meditation, and the vast myriad of methods and tools used in hypnotherapy, we can quiet our anxiety, recover from trauma and loss, regain our sense of control, find peace, meaning, light, and hope, as well as walk away with our own set of tools to support and empower us, as we traverse life's new normal.

No matter how dark life may be for you, no matter the loss, challenges, difficulties, and trials you've faced &/or continue to face, you have the ability to change your perspective, give thanks for all that is good, find your strength, and care for yourself. You're surrounded every day by others in need of human connection and love. And you have access to professionals, who are trained and find joy in empowering others to heal and live their lives to the fullest.

So for now, I'll leave you with what has been my simple mantra during this last year.

I'm here. I'm alive.

And WHERE THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE.

There is, indeed, hope.